Do You Need Any Help?

Do you need help? Yes, I need one. Help is something we usually do, depending on our mood and even ask in mood, and we get help in mood too. We always teach our child to help others. But do we adults do this by heart? We ask, but in the name of asking. If we get a reply as “no”, then we are happy inside. If we get a reply as “yes”, then we curse ourselves why we have asked?

“Do you need any help? ” – we keep asking this question in order to reduce someone’s work or reduce someone’s tension. But sometimes, we get so exhausted from our daily routine that we forget to ask this question. Due to many restrictions in this pandemic, we failed to ask even if we wanted to ask. But yet, people helped each other somehow in this difficult situation. But what amused me was people started asking this same question on social media when Bollywood Actor Sushant Singh Rajput departed his life. Well, Sushant Singh Rajput passed away on 14 June 2020, i.e. in the peak pandemic year and that time It was said that he was in depression and he committed suicide by hanging himself. Later, It turned out to be murder and the investigation is still going on. So, when the depression news broke out, everyone started posting on social media that we will help you, talk to us, etc etc and all that.

image courtesy @maketimeforthingsyoulove

My question here is “Will you surely help people who are in depression?”. Do you have that much time and energy to listen and understand someone’s story? If we don’t have someone’s phone number and that person calls you, then we will wait for truecaller. And upon knowing who is calling you, we either hang up the phone, send him a “busy in meeting” message or you will wait till the call disconnects on its own. But you will not pick the call. Harsh, but true. We never pick a call, if we don’t want to talk to that person. Then how come you are helping us?

In this pandemic, we saw a frightful cut of. The people who were lucky enough were overloaded by work. They didn’t had a choice and were working day and night in order to keep their job safe. Hence, people were exceedingly busy in meetings and meeting their deadline. In such a scenario, if some depressed person called you then you can’t tell him that you are busy. You can’t tell them to call later. A depressed person will be in more depression after hearing such a response from you. So leave it and please don’t help anyone.

This pandemic has put almost everyone in depression. Some people are still struggling to meet their needs. But they are not losing hope and trying their best to search for a job. For such people “Do you need any help?” is nothing but a curse for them. Some people believe in themselves so much that they don’t take help from anyone. And thus, we think that they don’t need help. But such people badly need you because they are already in such a bad stage and they don’t want us to take their tensions. So in such a situation, please understand and try to help with their basic needs.

Some people need financial help. But money always puts our relationship into trouble. We understand someone’s needs yet we don’t help them because of only one reason and that is that we don’t want to break the relationship. Still I will express my desire to financially help someone at least not extensively but partially. This will at least maintain the relationship. Well, in the end it totally depends on you and how much you want to help. No force, no compulsion.

To all people who are in depression, talking does help. But it also depends on the person whom you are talking to. Because you never know when your secrets will be revealed by them. So, in order to fight your depression, you have to go to a psychiatrist and get treated. There is no shame in consulting a doctor. Brain is your part of the body and it has to be nurtured. What’s the use of eating healthy food but not giving the right instructions to your brain? Your diet will be useless if you don’t treat your brain well. So without any hesitation consult a doctor. Go out, take a walk, meet and greet people. And don’t depend on other people. Take a day off from your daily routine, and go for a small vacation or one day trip. Try to keep your house and surroundings clean. This will help in positive vibes. Pray and meditate everyday for your own betterment. Eat food on time and listen to good music.

Well, I need help… Please suggest a topic for my next post.   

Our Life In Social Media

In this social media world, is it necessary to express our so-called “knowledgeable thoughts” to others? In this busy world,  we always come up with not understanding the concept and always rush to the idea of solutions. We feel excited when we get some good news. We always want to express this to others, right? But, what if we get some bad news. Yes, this too we express to others but few people do write this somewhere on the internet.

We all have seen the world in our ways. Some face-to-face , some on the internet. Whether through pics or through written posts, we have seen all. But is it worth posting such things on the internet?  Well, in today’s world, we have major deep privacy settings. So, even if you type a long message, and you want that one person to read it, then mind you, that person is reading your post, laughing at your post, deleting your post, ignoring your post, unfriending you and still you will have no clue of it. Because of our latest privacy settings.

So, what’s the use? You wanted that person to react but he / she didn’t even bother. And then you get msg from any random person, whom you never thought of and what ? he / she will start telling his / her own stories rather  than solutions. So you end up being more depressed and unhappy. This is the world my friend!. Where people are ready to hear the good news and ignore the bad and depressed one. 

Let’s take a few scenarios here. Lets imagine, in this pandemic you got a job. (Wow, awesome feeling right). You want to share this news to someone. You start calling one by one to all the near and dear ones, you tell them how you struggled to get the job. Everybody will listen and congratulate you. Right? (prayers for everyone to get settled). Now, the second scenario, You lost your job due to the pandemic and you need a job to meet your financial needs. So you start calling one by one, but who will listen to you. Even if your story is true, that you got fired because of no-reason, yet  people will come up with their own stories, and spread lies about you. Even though their company has a vacancy, still they will judge you for your past and not offer the job to you. They know you need financial help right now, still they will not give you money. Forget about this pandemic, people will not help you financially, in any condition. and will always be away from you.

Here comes the online scenario. Many people took help of social media to express themself. Some say it’s very bad. I used to think it’s a very bad idea to write everything online. But there is one different angle to it. People write not to put their own dear-ones down, but to start a conversation. and hence people started writing their posts online. Whether it is facebook, twitter or instagram, people don’t leave any social medias’ now. People even mention that they are taking a break from social media. Yes, all people read, Even the concerned person reads, But get response from the person to whom we are not connected. 

But is this right? Yes, it’s completely right. In this social media world, where we have many friends online, one friend always comes forward just to say “hi hello”. Though he or she has no intention to help, they know by talking at least someone will feel better. To be honest, real friends also do this. But they also expect us to consider them as “busy”.

It happened a few days back,  my one comment on social media landed on their whatsapp group. Although the group is not active everyday, at least someone replies whenever others say “hi” or “good morning”. Feels good when someone shares an old pic, and the conversation starts with it.

So, If you don’t want to type your sad post, at least comment or share some old post, the conversation will start automatically. And hence if good, share with others and if bad share it online.. Good wishes.