Supreme Companion

Born in 1985, I have seen little evolution. I have seen paperwork to Computer Feeding, cassette to CDs, CDs to iPods / music players, computer floppy disk to pen drive, big drive to small sim card to micro sim card, landline to mobile, even from TV serials to web series. Still, this generation has seen a little. I will not say that this generation has seen all, because we haven’t seen a major transformation  of black-n-white to colour, haven’t seen struggles to get the things for, and many other major things, and hence we have seen few things. But, we are lucky enough to say that we have other options too. Like if you want mobile, but don’t want to spend much then we have options. We have the option to choose between desktop and laptop. We have the option to choose between channels too. Earlier that was not the case. Even in the case of humans, we have seen few. Few because, we, this generation don’t accept nonsense. We say ta-ta-bye-bye at once and for all. But what this generation really falls for is friendship. Rather than family, and loved ones, this generation depends more on friendships. Whether a gang or herd, people do have friends. Even if we ask for money, and for some reason they can’t give then we do understand it. This generation, only friends, is proper, outspoken and understandable.

Though we have friends, we have depression too. But friends are the one who will at least listen to you, if they can’t give a solution then they will at least be in touch with you or will make dinner plans with you. In short, they will be with you. Meeting your friends once a week is a must. Meeting your best people and hanging around with them helps in reducing stress and toxicity in our life. I have seen this in many families that when you make some big decision and share that with your family or relatives, all you get is some negative feedback with rubbish explanation. Mostly because of attachment and family members don’t think practically, they will always think emotionally and will give some food, water, excuses. But friends are those who will first make fun of you, because of that, the day doesn’t start. And then they will ask questions related to your decision. Then, they will give their positive or negative response depending on what we have answered to their questions.

Lucky are those who have friends for more than 7 years. It is said that, if the friend lasts for more than 7 years then he or she is your lifetime friend. You can easily trust them. You have seen them changing from best to worst, from unformed to matured. You have seen their low point to high point. From their failure to success and even their struggle. Lucky are those who have friends and who have seen their friends in the real world.

To be honest, I have seen this. Family members warn their kids not to make friends just because of their caste, colour and low background. But Kids never judge this. They just see their compatibility and happiness with the other person. So, a friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden. When low, a call or message from a friend is enough to make your day. It’s telepathy. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Friends read our minds well, understand them and then only come to conclusions. And all conclusions are practical, not emotional.

Fights do happen, separation does happen, but they are treasures for us. We can’t stay poor without our treasure. Friendship is like our favorite food and we are crazy for it. We get trained automatically. This is the journey of life, where we meet and it’s awkward at first but slowly you get to know them. Its journey of life with high happiness, high expectation and also loss and suffering but it is unbearable without them. This is the journey of life, with huge success and huge failure but trying to get back is also huge. It’s fortunate enough to find someone like this.

Love is beautiful, friendship is better.

Chapora Fort, Dil Chahata Hai Point

Drop A Line

This time, I thought of many topics. But I didn’t have any topic to write about. And hence, I am writing about “why I’m writing?” Some people definitely have this question in their mind, “Why is Deepika writing? Why can’t she shut up and stop writing?”. Well, sorry readers, I will write and will continue to write till we don’t become friends. I wrote on many topics, right from, “Why do we share our feelings on social media?” till “Why should take time from busy life?” I wrote about many festivals too, like Ganesh Chaturthi, Holi etc.  It was the year 2009 that I started writing this blog and here’s my first post. And believe me that time my blog was hit. Without any social media support, I used to get genuine hits and comments on my posts. But due to some reasons, I stopped writing and then I didn’t have any topic to write much about. I tried to use my brain hard (Ha Ha), but all I was getting was the same content. Like my career, My blog also has a gap of almost 2 year, after every 1 year, starting from 2012. Then suddenly in lockdown, I came up with an online school post. Though the topic was a little boring for me, because it was an on-going topic at that time. But People did like that post. And Today also whenever I share that link, I do get likes and comments, but on social media. There was an on and off of my posts. It was sad to see that my post had very few hits despite having social media support. I tried all the possibilities, I started sharing the links here and there, but the number of visitors to my site had drastically reduced. Finally, I bought the domain and now I am happy to see the number of new visitors.

Buying this website helped a lot. I have gained followers on twitter too. My friends started giving me topics to drop a line on. Surprisingly, even Linkedin gave me one topic to start one conversation on the Linkedin website. Though, I didn’t start any conversation there but yes, I dropped a line on it. It was about the “future of work“.  Feels good, when I see retweets, likes and new followers on twitter. To multiply website hits, we have used social media so much that now people actually started ignoring such messages. But it’s ok, because I am also one of them. In twitter, I have to read so much content that I start liking the post without reading it. What to do, A cause for a cause. Support for writing blogs is huge on twitter. (Well, I came to know this lately)

But why do I write? Writing actually makes some points better. Writing actually heals. It makes things good or worse depending on the post. But yes, you earn if you are a  good content writer. If you keep on writing, you will not only get new topics but also you will be recognized. Some of my posts are close to my heart. and yes, I got a positive response too. Some posts I have written are negative and yes, I have negative comments too. Thanks to WordPress, for moderation of comments. If you are extremely angry, and want to take out your anger, write it on a notepad, WordPad or on a piece of paper. It will help to flush out all your anger. Writing also makes your memory strong. Writing down the things helps to not-to-forget things. And to be more precise, the brain loves pen and paper. Rather than typing, if you write using pen and paper then you will remember things better. You will be more accurate and your concentration power will be more because writing each alphabet / words by hand helps in  developing skills.

Just a simple scenario, in the office, before we start our work, we make a to-do list. But why? As I said, writing things makes us not-to-forget the important work. We can easily prioritize our  to-do list. And If by any chance, if we don’t complete the list then we can easily carry forward to the next day. And hence writing down things is a must. Same case in our kitchen. If some groceries are out of stock in our house, then we make a list, and add other items too in that list, before going shopping. In this way, we stay organized.

In this internet world, we have all apps. But still, writing by hand on a piece of paper tends to boost your ability to retain information, comprehend new ideas, and be more productive. It’s not bad to type, but as per research, the people who type on a laptop or any other device perform poorly in exams as they don’t have writing skills. It is totally up to you what and how you want to write. Do keep writing. 

My childhood days, I had this secret diary. On the first page, I had written – “This book belongs to Deepika, please do not read it”. Later, I came to know that it was read by all  (ha ha!!). But yes, from my childhood days, writing has helped me. If someone steals my pencil that also I use to write in my secret diary book.

So, Drop a line. Drop more lines. Drop even more lines. Drop even more lines than that.

Not All Ankle-Biters Are Same

We all need solutions and suggestions in our life. But that doesn’t mean you will come up with something lousy. Some people are overloaded with lots of shitty ideas. This free time has led them to give their not-so-valuable comments. Don’t know what happens to society when girls say that they are ready for marriage. Instead of giving a list of to-be groom, they will ask 10,000 questions and yes, all rubbish questions. Like if the girl is manglik (Mangala Dosha) or not, whether the girl is vegetarian or not. Some even ask whether a girl had a boyfriend in her past life. Ladies, let the to-be groom and his family decide about the girl, you just provide the list. Things don’t stop here. After marriage, they will ask about kids. It’s ok to ask but don’t go into details. Like “why are you not pregnant yet? this is the right age, I will give my gynecologist number..” STOP IT.. Let the girl decide whether she wants a kid or not.

Society questions girls as if they have invested a lot in our future. But they will ask us, “who u?”, when we will ask for money for any help. They will be the first person to back out and ignore us. So society, If you can’t help us in any way, then please stay away from us and our life. You are no one to take tension for us.  

I really get disgusted when someone comments on kids. They think, since they are experienced, they are experts in this. 
-> The first valuable taunts will be on the weight. I mean, what do you want to do with my kid’s weight? Are you the one who is going to make food for her? 
-> Then, the second valuable comment will be on height. Why? Do you want child marriage? Then why are you so concerned about height? 
-> Then, about the way the kid communicates. Whether they communicate or not, which language, why not English, why not mother tongue, why this language, you don’t belong to this caste, why not your child doesn’t know about our caste, she don’t know about our god….

Such taunting can take an emotional toll, making us feel isolated, embarrassed and sad. Elders say to ignore them. But why? Why can’t we give left and right to such people? I know the relationship will come to a halt. But it’s ok. But‌ in this, we are not at all at a loss. They are. They will lose what they had. Weight and skin colour are considered important. Sarcasm, though unintentional, begins within the family. Society, if you are really worried about weight and other health issues then please ask the mother and father about their life. Ask them what they are going through. The only reason kids don’t keep well, is because of the atmosphere of the house. Parents try very hard to keep their kids healthy. But they have other tensions too.

To look after kids, It should be an 80-20 balance. 80%; to look after their kids and 20% to look after themselves. And that 20% is the-most important because if you don’t look after yourself then how will you give 80% attention to your kids? But some parents are very unlucky that, forget about 20%, they aren’t able to  give 80% attention to their kids. Because they have other responsibilities too. They are overloaded with their responsibility so much that they affect their own health, and hence somehow their kids get affected. And hence the weight issue and height issue. But what society sees is that mothers don’t feed their kids, Mothers can’t take proper care of kids. Strong mommies make strong babies. And strong mommies are those who have stuck badly in their responsibility and yet they don’t give up looking after others. And by the way, why is it always Mother? Why not Father? If you want to blame, then  blame both mother and father. Ask questions to father as well, not only to mother. But no, the mindset of society is such that they will question only to mothers.  

To change the mindset of society, we have to change the mindset of our own people. Intentionally or unintentionally, our own people bully our kids and outsiders take advantage of this. If we change the mindset of our own people, then that’s the time when we will be happy and yes we can give left-right to the outsiders. Every parent wants their child to be healthy and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other kids. No parents want their child to be in boarding school. It’s the other responsibility which forces them to do so.   

Remember; “Your children are not the same. Not at all. Each one is unique. There are no ‘boiler plate’ clauses that fit all children. They are like snowflakes with their own patterns and their own shapes and their own sizes.” –  Bob Benson

So Society, please shut up and help the parents instead.. 

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