The Honest Invitation

Hello my readers! A fantastic day to all. Well, you all must have come to know that  I reside in India. So in India, we respect our religion, our culture. Hence, we have to give invitations for our happiness. Whether it is a child’s first birthday party or marriage or success or settling abroad, we have to invite all, by giving proper invitations. Earlier, there was a one concept of invitation card, where it was kind of rule to go to our friends or relatives house, invite them and handover the invitation card to them. But now since WhatsApp is ruling everywhere, we create one image and send it in WhatsApp group. But still we Indians need an invitation card for marriage functions else we don’t go and also complain to others that we didn’t get any invitation. Also, the phone call is a must, else the complaint will be that we were not invited by heart. So, we spend a lot on the invitation card and write many things on it like welcome stanza, who is getting married to whom, lunch time, dinner time, reception time and address. But we ignore everything, except for lunch time and dinner time.

So, such is the case and such functions have lots of comments composed by friends or relatives that they didn’t like the food. We get to hear 98% negative comments and only 2% positive comments. The negative comments are mostly on food and on the bride’s look. Since, we have come to such functions only for food and hence we expect very good quality of food from the bride’s family. Usually, The arrangements of marriages function in India  are done by the bride’s family. Very few cases are there, where both the families agreed on the expenses. So, if we don’t get food as per our expectation then we don’t blame the caterers, we blame the bride’s family.

In one marriage function, few people literally insulted the bride’s family just because they had kept typical Indian food on the menu. The guests were expecting Italian, Mexican and all. But since they got simple food, they thought they had the right to say the same on the bride’s family face and be a snollygoster.  But they still bibble over their food. Well, The money was paid by the bride’s family and not by us.

Every marriage or any other function has such comments. Yes, there were comments on my marriage too. One even complained about the location of the banquet hall. They said that the  banquet hall was too far from their house and they are tired of travelling. Wow, you should have told me this before. I would have kept my marriage function in your house only. At Least I didn’t have to pay for the banquet hall. Such flotsam and jetsam comments take an emotional toll. For a few days only, but that few days the family goes through hell. Sleepless nights and the tiredness are unbroken.

So, I was thinking, what if we start giving honest invitations. What will the content be? Since I have written more on marriage functions, let’s start with the marriage invitation card.



Amrish Puri and Shahrukh Khan did “Aau Aau” to pigeons in movie Dilwale Dhulaniya Le Jaayenge (DDLJ), 
In the same way, XYZ family is doing “Aau Aau” to you and cordially invites you to the wedding of
Mr. ABC and Ms. CBA
on DD / MM, YYYY
from 7pm onwards,
followed by dinner at this address.

Since we have spent a lot hence we will accept only cash as a gift starting from 2000 Rps.
The dinner menu is as per the taste of the groom and  bride because it’s their day and not yours.
Return gifts will be given only to present members, not to the whole family. Don’t slyly ask for it.
The reception time is from 7pm to 9pm and no one will be entertained after 9pm because the couple will be more tired than you.

Thanks, Do come with your heart and soul.

I know, such an invitation is just a dream. But, to be on a lighter note, we should try to keep our mouth shut. No family orders for unappetizing food on the D-day, after spending extravagantly. It’s the caterers that don’t care. So it’s the duty of money spender to shout at them and not your duty to make them feel low. So next time, when you get an invitation, just enjoy, meet and greet others. Such comments have made the younger generation not to celebrate any functions with all. They enjoy it with their friends only because when they get taunted, they can insult their friends. Remember, days are gone when we were taught that elders are everything, respect them, don’t question them. This generation knows to give respect only if they get respect and they will always ask this question, “Why?”.. Well, this generation is good because they know the answer to everything. and we just know because our elders did it.

So, stay in touch, be happy and stop taunting. Enjoy the meet and be respected by all.

The Honest Invitation

Interrogation to Connect

To face the real world, we have to come out from our houses. We have to see what’s going around us. Watching news channels, and learning about politics is not real world. To know what politics is, we have to join office. But to join the office we have to study or specialize in something. Then we have to give interviews. But now-a-days before going for an interview, companies do take tests like aptitude, technical, logical reasoning etc. Lucky are those who get clear in the first round and who get a job in their first interview itself.

I have done BE in IT (Bachelor of Engineering in Information Technology).  So, I have to go through this aptitude and logical test. Very few companies were there, where they used to give importance to only technical interviews and not these tests. I was bored of this aptitude test because Maths was very perplexing . And I never used to try  to solve those questions and hence I never went for the second round. I was eagerly waiting for such a company who directly takes technical interviews because I am good in my programming language. Finally, I got one and luckily I got a job in the first round itself. Days, months , years passed and then it was time to change the job due to obvious reasons.

Then came the real interviews and the real interviewer in my life.  Rather, I will say Interrogation. Because I was a little bit experienced. The interviewer started asking tricky questions. and if my answer was right, then he used to trick that question again and again, till I didn’t give up. Yes, I gave up many times. 

All companies follow their format. and to be honest every company has work, no one is free enough to learn new things or to do new experiments in their work. If the work is set, then nobody wants to touch or re-construct the code. Everyone is scared to do so. What if something goes wrong? What if the code gives an error? Every programmer’s nightmare is the same. The code works till Thursday and suddenly stops on Friday making weekend worse and again suddenly works on Monday. Still I don’t know the science or black magic behind this. But this is true. So, As I said, all companies follow their own coding format and hence we do RnD in those structures only. But the interviewer of the next company is never happy and hence he always ask out-of-office-syllabus questions. Even though his company follows the same code structure, still he wants us to learn more and explore more. Many Companies passed, asking out-of-office-syllabus questions making me learn again from scratch.  But as I gave more and more interviews, I became more excellent in taking interviews rather than giving interviews.

Many years passed now it was my turn to be an interviewer. So I also started asking out-of-office questions. But to be honest, I was more lenient because all I wanted was logic. For syntax we have our god and that is Google. So whenever I ask a question, I always see whether the candidate is aware of the syntax or not. and if yes, then I don’t go in detail, I directly tell them ,Its Ok . for that google is there to help us out. What I ask is for logic. and yes, if the candidate is experienced then I asked tricky questions. I Trick the question again and again. till the candidate doesn’t give up.

But now-a-days the candidates are so smart they directly “ask” us to change the question and make us ask  questions according to their experience. Such was one candidate, I came across. I started with a simple question just to understand whether he has basic knowledge or not. But he refused to answer and said, “these are not my-type of questions. I am an experienced person, I don’t code and I manage a team.” to which I said, “ok. Will ask those questions too but you have to answer a few so that I can tell my boss that you are good enough to go for the next round. He agreed and I promoted him to the next round. But he was not aware that my boss was none other than the CEO of the company. So my CEO started  giving him scenarios where his team failed or for some reason the candidate didn’t check, thinking this is a simple one and it turned out to be a horrible nightmare. He gave a rubbish answer and said he will never fail to check the result. Still My CEO asked the same scenario but the candidate somewhat refused to give an answer. The CEO blasted him and rejected him at once. Later, through my contacts I found out that the candidate was not respected by his juniors and everyone wanted him to leave the company.

Years passed, and for some obvious reason I had to take a break from my work. But now the break is so big that the first question the interviewer asks is  – “What have you done in these years?”  I used to give honest answers. But then I came across this rude interviewer who started giving me lectures that I wasted many years doing nothing. I told him my current schedule and told him that I don’t get time to do the rest of the stuff. If given work, obviously I have to perform but since I don’t have office work and hence my mind is diverted to some other work. But the same question was asked again and again by other interviewers too. Finally, I got pissed off and told one of my interviewers, “I have studied my work. Please ask those or ask me technical questions and please judge me on that. Rather than judging me for not doing any work in these years”. Obviously my interview was not so good, But I was surprised to see the way he rejected me. He didn’t reject me based on my knowledge, He rejected me saying that you don’t have a helping hand? How can you handle both office and personal life. To which my reply was, “Thanks for wasting my n your precious time. Thanks alot”and I hung up the call.

The work culture in India is so bad that companies prefer men rather than women. If the woman gets married then the growth of women in professional life gets halted and hence many women go into business. I have seen this and experienced this too. One of my colleagues literally told me that he doesn’t want any women in his team because we women take holidays for obvious reasons. Here, I didn’t choose to fight but I told him to express this same view to HR. He was literally given the last warning by HR. Women were hired in his team, but they all resigned because he did not behave properly with them. But this guy was here, and HR only resigned giving the explanation that no women will be willing to stay here.

So this is the stage of women. Where we have to adjust and also have to give an explanation of why we adjusted. Where we have to learn new things but also have to give an explanation of why we chose to learn those things only. Where we have to teach others but also have to give an explanation of why we don’t teach the other things. Explanation! Explanation! An Interrogation with an Explanation. 

So dear interviewer, If we have taken a break from work, and want to take-off our career then please don’t go into the details of what we did in those years. Please ask questions related to work and see to it you chose the right candidate by asking relevant questions. After all, It is your work, your company’s work that we have to do.  It is our lookout how we will handle personal and office life. It is our look out whether to keep the baby with us or to keep them in day care. If we don’t ask for extra benefits, then please don’t judge us on our career-break. 

And please Respect Her

Respect Her.

 

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well. 
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; 
Who is earning almost as much as you do; 
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as 
you have because she is as human as you are; 
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your 
Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system 
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements 
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as 
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life; 
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name 
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen 

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well. 

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; 

Who is earning almost as much as you do; 

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as 

you have because she is as human as you are; 

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your 

Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system 

that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements 

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as 

much as you do for 20-25 years of her life; 

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name 

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen 

 

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