Not All Ankle-Biters Are Same

We all need solutions and suggestions in our life. But that doesn’t mean you will come up with something lousy. Some people are overloaded with lots of shitty ideas. This free time has led them to give their not-so-valuable comments. Don’t know what happens to society when girls say that they are ready for marriage. Instead of giving a list of to-be groom, they will ask 10,000 questions and yes, all rubbish questions. Like if the girl is manglik (Mangala Dosha) or not, whether the girl is vegetarian or not. Some even ask whether a girl had a boyfriend in her past life. Ladies, let the to-be groom and his family decide about the girl, you just provide the list. Things don’t stop here. After marriage, they will ask about kids. It’s ok to ask but don’t go into details. Like “why are you not pregnant yet? this is the right age, I will give my gynecologist number..” STOP IT.. Let the girl decide whether she wants a kid or not.

Society questions girls as if they have invested a lot in our future. But they will ask us, “who u?”, when we will ask for money for any help. They will be the first person to back out and ignore us. So society, If you can’t help us in any way, then please stay away from us and our life. You are no one to take tension for us.  

I really get disgusted when someone comments on kids. They think, since they are experienced, they are experts in this. 
-> The first valuable taunts will be on the weight. I mean, what do you want to do with my kid’s weight? Are you the one who is going to make food for her? 
-> Then, the second valuable comment will be on height. Why? Do you want child marriage? Then why are you so concerned about height? 
-> Then, about the way the kid communicates. Whether they communicate or not, which language, why not English, why not mother tongue, why this language, you don’t belong to this caste, why not your child doesn’t know about our caste, she don’t know about our god….

Such taunting can take an emotional toll, making us feel isolated, embarrassed and sad. Elders say to ignore them. But why? Why can’t we give left and right to such people? I know the relationship will come to a halt. But it’s ok. But‌ in this, we are not at all at a loss. They are. They will lose what they had. Weight and skin colour are considered important. Sarcasm, though unintentional, begins within the family. Society, if you are really worried about weight and other health issues then please ask the mother and father about their life. Ask them what they are going through. The only reason kids don’t keep well, is because of the atmosphere of the house. Parents try very hard to keep their kids healthy. But they have other tensions too.

To look after kids, It should be an 80-20 balance. 80%; to look after their kids and 20% to look after themselves. And that 20% is the-most important because if you don’t look after yourself then how will you give 80% attention to your kids? But some parents are very unlucky that, forget about 20%, they aren’t able to  give 80% attention to their kids. Because they have other responsibilities too. They are overloaded with their responsibility so much that they affect their own health, and hence somehow their kids get affected. And hence the weight issue and height issue. But what society sees is that mothers don’t feed their kids, Mothers can’t take proper care of kids. Strong mommies make strong babies. And strong mommies are those who have stuck badly in their responsibility and yet they don’t give up looking after others. And by the way, why is it always Mother? Why not Father? If you want to blame, then  blame both mother and father. Ask questions to father as well, not only to mother. But no, the mindset of society is such that they will question only to mothers.  

To change the mindset of society, we have to change the mindset of our own people. Intentionally or unintentionally, our own people bully our kids and outsiders take advantage of this. If we change the mindset of our own people, then that’s the time when we will be happy and yes we can give left-right to the outsiders. Every parent wants their child to be healthy and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with other kids. No parents want their child to be in boarding school. It’s the other responsibility which forces them to do so.   

Remember; “Your children are not the same. Not at all. Each one is unique. There are no ‘boiler plate’ clauses that fit all children. They are like snowflakes with their own patterns and their own shapes and their own sizes.” –  Bob Benson

So Society, please shut up and help the parents instead.. 

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