Hello my fabulous readers. A very fantastic day to you all. Recently, I came across this series called  ‘Mental Hood’ starring Karisma Kapoor, Dino Morea, Sanjay Suri and others on zee5. It’s a good series and there were two best things I liked about that series. One was the role of Dino Morea, a single father in mother’s friend circle and second was Karisma Kapoor’s blog. Every night she used to write very short and sweet blogs on kids and parenthood and what she learned today as a parent. And hence, it came in my mind to write about the same, parenthood. 

Parenting is actually an easy task. But we make it laborious and demanding because what we see is our neighborhood. We judge our own child, because we have seen other children speaking very well. Here we don’t see any other factor. For example, if the child speaks well but might be the child’s behaviour must not be good at home or the child must not be good at eating or the child must be not good in studies, etc. We all don’t see those factors. What we saw was just his speaking skills and hence we ourselves made the parenting task difficult.

Kids need your own help. He or she doesn’t need any experts. Kids are very friendly and open only with their own parents. All you have to do is just be with them all the time. But what we follow is the rules of society. As such there are no rules, still we womens make these nonsense rules. Rule no 1; as a mother I am allowed to make only mothers as friends. I can’t make a non-mother as my friend. I mean, why this rule? Why can’t I make my own friend circle? why it has to be a mother group only. So here, just because we want to know how other kids behave and what their solutions are. And then we try to implement the same on our kids. I am not saying that the solutions are bad but every child is different. Some kids understand in one sentence, and some need a complete story. We mothers make other mothers as our friends, just because our kids get company. But aren’t we forcing them to make friends as per our wish? here, we are not allowing them to make their own friends.

Like adults, kids have their own ego. They might also not like other kids. So in such a case, as a mother what you will do? Just remove that mother from the friend circle. Right na? Whose loss? Kids have their own world. Let them discover their own friends. Let them choose their own friend.

Whether it is about behaviour or explaining to kids about the menstruation cycle, we mothers always end up asking for solutions and suggestions from other mothers. But we also request teenage girls to look after our kids. Means, we trust them to be a parent to our child, but don’t trust them as their mentor. Try asking them once, I am sure, they definitely will have a perfect solution or suggestion for this. But unfortunately that teenage girl will not be in my friend circle. Obviously, because of some rules. Try keeping kids in different age groups. Let them learn some things from kids who are older than them and some things from the kids who are younger than them. Don’t restrict your kid to be in the same age group.

One thing, I will definitely say this, never teach your kids that “It’s ok”. No, It’s not ok. Teach them to fight back. Teach them to increase their voice if it’s against their wish. If some kid is unnecessarily harassing your kid, then teach your kid to harass them back or else teach them to say “No”  in a loud voice. But we teach them not to say “fuck”, not to show middle finger, etc. Dear parents, if “fuck” is bad word then “Kiss”, “hug” is also bad word. If “fuck you” is a bad sentence, then “kiss you”, “hug you” are also a bad sentences. Like “Fuck”, even “kiss”, “hug” involves body parts and please our whole body is private, not just few parts. Same way, we use the middle finger for some other work also. Like, sometimes, I use my middle finger just to press elevator buttons or sometimes I use my middle finger just to rub my eyes. But that doesn’t mean that I am showing my middle finger to everyone. So if you want to teach all these “bad” things to kids, then please teach them completely and in a proper way. Incomplete knowledge will lead to unnecessary fights between kids and kids will end up giving incomplete-knowledge-complaints to parents. Just imagine, kid crying and pointing at you and complaining that you showed them middle finger, but in reality you where just pointing out something. and that parent will take those incomplete-knowledge-complaints seriously.

I had been to this function, where I was making my child eat with my hands. This lady (not a mother) pounced on me and started giving me lectures that my daughter should know how to eat by herself. She should know her own work etc etc. The thing is, my daughter knows how to eat by herself. But yes, not only in that function but in every function, I make her eat by my hands because in such functions kids are hyperactive and they want to play, play and just play. They forget to eat. and even if we force them then they will have very small quantities. Hence I made this rule for my daughter and i.e. you play, but when it’s food time, you eat properly and then play again. Obviously, my daughter doesn’t listen and hence I make her eat by myself. In this way, even I am satisfied and tension free. I know kids should do at least their own work, but what’s wrong if we give priority to their importance first.  Functions don’t happened everyday.

Let the kids be kids. Don’t try to make them adult. Teach kids only what is necessary, no need to teach them everything. To be very honest, if you are watching TV in front of your kid, and then teaching them not to use “Fuck” word, is absolutely nonsense. Instead, stop watching such TV shows in front of kids. Even knowingly-unknowingly, cartoons portray wrong things. Remember, “Popeye The Sailor Man ” cartoon. We laughed a lot while watching that cartoon, even enacted like Popeye and Spinach became every kids favorite vegetable. But actually that cartoon used to show harassment against women, everyday. So that means, even cartoons are not that safe for kids. You have to watch each and every episode that your kids are watching on tv /mobile. and hence teach them everything in detail, or don’t teach them at all. but don’t give half knowledge to them.

Teaching and learning must be fun. Some parents go for a second child just to teach “what is responsibility?” to the first child. This is at most nonsense. Yes, this mentality still persists. Overnight, you can’t order your first child to grow up. This can lead to jealousy. You can’t say this line to your first child, “Don’t watch TV. I want to cook food, keep an eye on your younger one”.

Kids have their own way of expressing their feelings. Some say in clear sentences, some just prefer to keep quiet. Talking to them in a very soft tone is the only solution. Loud tones will make it more scary. If talking doesn’t help  then go for mobile and tv. Show some moral stories on youtube and then ask them what happened. Definitely they will answer. Going digital, in order to teach your kids, is not at  all bad. In fact this generation is the digital generation and kids learn in a practical way rather than in a theoretical way.

So lets kids be kids. Parenting skills are in everyone. Even teenagers will do better parenting than us. It’s all in our head how we look at our kid. To judge them how they are, or to judge them how others are. Happy Parenting. Hope you all enjoy reading this post. Do like and comment. Pingbacks will be appreciated.

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